What Love Is
by Ass-butt Angel in the Impala
Summary: I remember that day like it was yesterday. The look in Castiel's eyes. Why did it have to happen,why today?


I remember that day like it was yesterday. The look in Castiel's eyes. Why did it have to happen,why today?

The morning sunlight shone through the window of the motel room. I opened my eyes and looked over at Sammy, the face I have seen in the morning so many times before. I turned to look at Cas, with his bedhead, sleeping so peacefully next to me. "It's morning", I thought, time to find a job to do. I got up and sat at the little table in this fugly motel room. All our lives we have stayed in rooms like these, that I got used to seeing them. The wallpaper that's slowly peeling off or horrible panels, beds that have been used by so many people it's kinda gross. But hey, we do jobs that involve blood and guts so it doesn't really matter. There is a website that has a job for us, so I go to wake the boys up. "Rise and shine Sammy!", I say as I shake him to consciousness. He just mumbles and opens his tired eyes. "It's only eight, Dean." "Yeah well, we don't have time to be pansies and stay in bed, we have lives to save." He gets up, and puts on his shoes. As hunters there's no time to buy pajamas. It's get up, hunt, and find a place to sleep (minus cleaning up and showering, we have to at least look good while we doing it). I shake Cas awake, and he groans a bit. "Hmmm", in that cute tired voice. I think I like him better as a human, although he's pretty bad ass as an angel. I have to sit him up, because since he's a human he's a bit dreary in the mornings. He's still half asleep as I put his trench coat on. "Hey buddy, you gotta wake up." He opens his eyes and I tell him I'll buy him a burger. Now he's really awake. "Good morning" he says in his raspy voice. "What do we got Dean?" Sam asks. "There's a track on some demons at a hospital. A person states they saw a man with black eyes walk into a room, and next thing they know the patient walks out. Guess their vessel is getting a bit rusty." "Yeah, okay where's this hospital at?"

"Michigan. The big MI!", I exclaim. "Don't do that", Sam rolls his eyes. "...Yeah, you're probably right."

The three of us got into the Impala and drove to Michigan. Sam of course got shotgun and Cas had to sit in the back as usual, even if I prefer him to sit with me in the front. That way we could have conversations about the little things he's ignorant at knowing as he looks out the window with that little smirk on his face, but at least I can still see him through the rear-view mirror. Without Cas I feel alone and like a part of me is missing, but he always reminds me that I'm still human and not some monster. Sure I've got Sammy but it's not the same. So we drive in silence and just listen to my favorite station with the windows open halfway.

We get to the hospital, and as routine are dressed as feds doing the case. We show our badges and are allowed in. "Yup, definitely demon, I can smell the sulfur." "Why would demons go to a hospital and steal patient's bodies?" Sam asked. "I don't know man, like I said maybe their rusty." "I though we were going to get a burger?" Cas said. "I think you can hold off the burger till we at least get a clue on what they're doing." He just huffs and walks back to the Impala. "Well I guess we can ask a few more people what they know?" Sam suggests. So we asked around and looked at the security cameras. Thankfully the son of a bitch was caught getting into a car in the parking lot so we wrote down the licence plate number. So long story short we tracked it down to a creepy house, but it had a "couple friends".

Me and Sam figured we could handle this on our own so we left Cas in the car like a child. We went around back and opened the door slowly making sure no noise was heard. Sam cleared the next room and I followed behind him. There was some noise upstairs and some down in the basement, so we split. Sam got upstairs and I went to investigate the basement. I quietly descended into the musty room. It was bigger then I thought, with other rooms attached, probably a lair. Ahead was one of them guarding a door where the strange torture noises were coming from, not surprising. I was able to maneuver my way behind it and stab it right through the back as the light left it's body. Damn that felt good. I could already hear Sam upstairs as a body hit the floor. Suddenly something hit me and I was unconscious.

I woke up to being chained next to the victim I'm guessing was making the painful noises. I didn't matter anymore, Sammy was upstairs and Cas in the car. I need to know they're safe. The torturing one walked toward me and looked through me with those black eyes, and all I could think was how it's going to feel with my knife in it's gut. "So Dean Winchester, I hear your looking for me. Well here I am." I gave it a look of sarcasm. "What do you want Dean?" "I want to do my job and kill you sons of bitches." "Well that's not very nice." it said. "Your kind aren't exactly one for being nice yourself. What are you doing taking vessels for." "Oh a bit rusty, I wanted a makeover." "Give me a knife and I'll give your face a makeover for you." I said "I heard you were a bit cocky. Your reputation proceeds you." It took a knife and slowly sliced it down my chest as I flinched in pain. "Oh your a tough one aren't you." it said. In all honesty I was used to it. "It comes with being a hunter." I heard rumbling upstairs, it must be Sam but it didn't sound good. Perhaps he can't fight them all off, I worried for him. "Looks like you brought a friend, your brother I'm guessing. Allow me to introduce myself to him." "You touch my brother and I'll kill you myself!" It laughed sarcastically and left. I hoped that Sammy would be okay. After a minute Cas walked in. "Cas! Help me down." I forgot to whisper. He walked over and unlatched me from my chains. I wrapped my arms around him tightly for a whole minute. "Are you okay Dean?" he said in that raspy voice I was so happy to hear. "Yeah, I am now. Come on we have to help Sam." We headed for the stairs when Sam appeared at the top covered in blood. "Sam, you good?" "CAS!" he yelled and I spun around just as the torturing demon pushed a knife Cas' back. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion.

I couldn't save my best friend from this happening to him, it was too late and I felt like everything was spinning. Sam ran after the demon and I held Cas in my arms. For a second I wished he was still an angel and all this would be okay. For once in a long time I prayed to God that he will heal, that a miracle would happen. I put my hands on his face, as he stared up at me in pain. "So this is what dying feels like" he said. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" I said. "It's not your fault Dean, I'm human remember? It's okay, I'll still watch over you", and then he was gone. Sam walked back in with even more blood covering him. I knew the son of a bitch was dead, even if I wished I could have done it myself. I've saved lives so many times before, where did I go wrong?

As we drove back I stared blankly out the window of the backseat with Cas's limp head on my lap. I couldn't look at him. Sam drove the victim home and we decided on a proper burial place for him. Everything still seemed a blur and I stayed in the car as Sam buried him. I went over what happened and didn't want to believe it. He was so much more than a friend or brother to me, I loved him. When Sam was finished he got back in the drivers seat, sat there for a second and stared straight ahead. I could tell he felt empty as well but not as much as I did. We went back to the motel and I went straight to bed. I didn't want to deal with anything. Sam did the same, we didn't even say goodnight, because it wasn't.

I jerk wide awake in the middle of the night screaming with tears running down my face. I look over, but this time Cas isn't there. "Are you okay?" asks Sam. "Yeah, it was just a nightmare."


End file.
